As we go through the process of learning (any subject), we ride a fine line between perception and reality. Short-range reality can make it seem like we are just spinning our wheels; we need long-range perception to keep us motivated and moving forward. We may cruise along merrily for a while—perceiving ourselves to be successful (which of course we are)—but inevitably “reality will rear its ugly head” and make us feel like we are a failure.
Every time that happens to me, I have a miserable day or two (it just happened to me a couple of days ago, which is why I’m writing about it now). Then, I will remember the cycle of perception/reality, and I will feel better. I hate it when it happens, but happen it must. I have tried to turn this into a positive step forward: reality tends to strike at those moments when we are temporarily stalled, so its occurrence can only mean that we have broken the stall and will now enter a new stage of progress.
I am not a sailor, but I see this whole process in simple sailing terms: Sometimes the wind is in our sails, and sometimes it isn’t. But just because the wind isn’t blowing in our favor doesn’t mean we can’t still make forward progress! We can always “tack against the wind.” After I’ve recognized and recovered from my reality misery, I’ll start the process of re-setting my sails.
Maybe there was something obvious that caused reality to crash the party, and I just couldn’t see it before it happened. This is when my best epiphanies tend to happen! “Why didn’t I see that before? Oh…never mind!”
It may be that we had been barking up the wrong tree for a while, and reality did us a favor by dragging us to the ground. Then, we are set free to take a good look around, and we may find the correct tree (or at least the best one for the next stage of development). So, rather than start the same climb again, maybe we got knocked to the ground for a reason.
As they say, insanity is the process of doing the same unsuccessful thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. “Try and try again” yes, but don’t be afraid to try another tree. To use another popular analogy, maybe it’s time to try another saddle on another horse.
I sure wish someone had explained this process to me 50 years ago when I was just a kid! I too easily and too often took the inevitable setbacks as “proof” that I was dumb. I saw harsh reality as my lot in life, and lacked the skill of positive perception. We experience both all the time; which one do you want to have as your default setting?