This is potentially the most important blog I will ever write—the most important for my growth as a musician and human being that is. I share it with you because I must; otherwise this becomes just another “unfunded mandate,” a goal without any mechanism for seeing or showing progress. Also, in the back of my mind with every blog is the hope that my writing may trigger something in the unconscious mind of my reader; I’m sure I’m not the only one with these issues! This is certainly a motivator for me.
By the end of this blog, you may find yourself saying “by Jove, he’s lost his mind!” Well, that is exactly my plan, so I would take that as a compliment! Thank you in advance! I want to “lose” my skeptical, over-analytical, self-control-obsessed mind! Once that is achieved, I can replace it with a more user-friendly, musical, human mind, unfettered by emotional baggage.
Inside of me beats the heart of a true musician! My obsessive mind, while allowing me to achieve an intellectual understanding of Music and a decent level of musical performance, has blocked that true musicianship from coming out. I want to become intimate friends with the Music inside of me; I want to share the Music that is in my heart, not my head and hands.
Speaking of head and hands: I do not consider the intellectual and physical work I have done to be a waste of time; it would be tough to play with the heart only. The neural pathways of the fingers must be trained, must “know the way” before Music can express itself through them; ultimately, we are limited in expression by the limitations of our fingers. By the same token, intellectual understanding of what a Dm7 chord is and how it functions (for instance) is essential to allow Music to use it “correctly”; otherwise, something may be lost in translation. I’d like to think that the Music in my heart is so intense—so amazing—that it requires a high degree of intellectual and physical skill to express; I simply wasn’t ready for that expression until now.
You may have noticed that I am referring to Music as an entity, not as a thing; that why I am capitalizing his/her name. Read the book The Music Lesson by Victor Wooten; he explains it much better than I can (I’ve read it twice and am now listening to it, which I’m sure is what sparked this epiphany). In short, Music is inside all of us; Music is in the air around us. We have a great responsibility to Music, and that is to express it in its purest form. I want to be an unlimited conduit for Music, who is already in my heart.
I have always believed deep-down that some sort of greatness was in the cards for me. It is for everyone! Lucky are those who have become aware of it, and figured out how to allow their inborne greatness to manifest itself. Actually, “luck” has nothing to do with it, and neither does “figuring out.” Just allow it to happen! And don’t be afraid of greatness; it doesn’t make us “better” than anyone else, only more enlightened. That’s why the title of this blog is “let go and let Music”; get the heck out of the way, and let Music do his/her thing! He/she is much more powerful and intelligent than our conscious selves could ever be.
A big part of this is believing of course, but awareness of this phenomenon comes first. Knowing that Music exists as an entity takes away any reason for doubt. Doubt is the work of our conscious minds, believing that magic is not real. Well, Music is not magic; it is real, and is just waiting for us to open the door and allow him/her to come out.
I think back on where my journey to Music started; I have no doubt it started when I first met Buddy Wachter 30 years ago (almost to the day! Wow, that’s deep. . .). Up to that point, I was happy being a banjo band chord melody guy; that’s all I had ever known! I had no idea what the banjo was really capable of; only what I had been previously shown. This was the beginning of a new awareness–an awareness that has manifested itself in my life in many ways besides Music.
I think Buddy awakened me on a very metaphysical level—a level that I was years away (apparently, 30 years away!) from truly understanding. He has always seen right through the smoke and mirrors of my conscious being (it’s kind of unnerving, actually), right through to Music, who has been there all along, patiently waiting for his/her day in the sun. Buddy is obviously good friends with Music after all; he recognized him/her right off the bat, and wasn’t talking to me, but to Music. Much of what he’s told me through the years has gone right over my head, but still managed to catch something in my unconscious mind. I remember him saying of me, “he doesn’t have music, Music has him!” I finally understand what he meant.
A couple of other things regarding Buddy: While he was planting the seed of Music in my head and heart, he was also nipping me in the bud (which I now see as careful pruning). #1, he didn’t want me to copy him, or if I did, make sure I gave credit where it is due. I took this on as a great responsibility, which Music is; that’s why I’m so serious minded about it. #2, he stopped short of showing me too many of his tricks; he wanted me to find them on my own, which I have, slowly but surely. Before I could understand them, I needed to know them on a technical level—not throw them in blindly. I went to college shortly after meeting him; I know his influence is what made me go back to school at the age of 30 to become a Music teacher. I also needed to understand where he got those tricks from; thus, my obsession with Reser, Bechtel, and Peabody.
So, all that is left for me to do now is allow Music to be. Having said all this publicly in a blog—“coming out,” as the case may be—I now have a responsibility to make. . .er, allow it to happen. I’ll keep you posted on my progress.