“I am not a cheerleader for the four-string banjo status quo; I am an agitator for what could be.”
Frankly, when I wrote that in my last blog, it was late at night and I was feeling frustrated about my own status quo, but—now that I’ve tipped my true hand—I think it may just become my byline.
I have this vision in my head (and ear) of what I feel I should be on the banjo—considering how long I’ve played and how hard I’ve worked in recent years. Oftentimes that vision clashes with reality; this happens when I am actively working on something I strongly desire to do but cannot yet (jazz improv is the cause du jour). “Happiness” comes at those rare times when desire and reality are closely matched—which of course means I am not moving forward but have not yet stagnated.
Too often, “inspiration” (and frustration) sends me running to my laptop to write some nonsensical tirade about the banjo—instead of to my banjo, which sits on its stand waiting ever-patiently! Obviously, this banjo neglect is happening at this very moment!
I can’t locate the exact quote—I believe it was a French diplomat from the American Revolution era—but he said something like “I cannot change the world until I have changed myself.” My own banjo status quo rarely satisfies me, and projecting that frustration onto others through blog writing—while being an effective strategy for self-motivation—runs the risk of alienating others. At the very least, it does not make up for lack of practice.
My words are meant to inspire, not anger! But know that they are mostly aimed at myself; by sharing my own tortured path to my own ultimate version of “what could be,” I hope to provide inspiration to others. Someday, I hope that my playing serves that purpose; writing is nothing more than a temporary place-holder. With that thought in mind, I shall sign off and try to return my focus back to becoming (and eventually modeling) what could be.