Writing has been quite a revelation to me; without it, my mind just wanders as it wishes—no discipline, no direction (“squirrel!”). Half of what I write could only be classified as the musings of a mad-man! Some of that rambling ends up in the essays I actually publish, not that anyone would notice. . . I guess you could say my writing mirrors my personality (it certainly doesn’t mirror any actual training or special skill!). This brings up the subject for this blog; with a couple of banjo shows coming up this season where I’m an actual “headliner,” I’ve been giving a lot of thought to my on-stage personality.
Let me say first that getting on stage by myself was originally an exercise in courage! I had such stage fright as a teenager and young adult—I could never imagine being up there by myself. I became determined to do it at a time in life when I was struggling to overcome my childhood low self-esteem and shyness issues; wanting to be a good example for my young daughter was a major motivator. Getting on stage—even for just 10 minutes—is an effective way to do that, let me tell you! When part of you is battling nerves, however, it’s hard for the other part to shine.
My natural personality has always been one of “flying under the radar.” This was shaped by being constantly teased and tormented in grade school; hiding and blending into the background proved to be the best escape from it. Well, it’s hard to get noticed when your whole persona is based on not being noticed! I can’t count the times when I would be standing in morning formation (in the Army), and someone would yell “where’s Hinkle?” “Uh, right here, Sergeant. . .” I mean, I know I’m wearing camouflage, but so is everyone else! Why should I be the one nobody seems to notice? Maybe I should have been in Special Forces or something!
I was a full-time ski instructor in one of my past lives; in that wonderful job, I was highly trained to see errors in other people’s skiing, and to not make errors in my own skiing. We were judged by how perfect our skiing was, not by how flashy. To stand out with individual personality was not a desirable goal; blending in with the other perfect instructors was! Looking back at it now in these terms, I realize how ideal my perfectionist personality was for that.
As a banjoist, I have always been much more interested in perfecting my playing; I have seen and heard the best, and I want to be one of them! Playing at a high level (or should I say, “as high a level as I’m capable of”) takes concentration. Some folks are natural “smilers”; I’m not, and to concentrate on my visual appeal would take away from what I’m attempting to do musically.
Unfortunately for me, I am sad to say that most banjo audiences don’t seem to care how well you play; they care more for how you look! I am often told “you should smile more.” My innermost being wants to respond with “you should listen more,” but I’m too nice to speak my mind in public. I ask that you put my aural appeal before my visual appeal when judging/critiquing me; I really don’t care what I looked like—I want to know what I sounded like (because that’s my personal priority).
So my on-stage personality is a legitimate thing to worry about! I believe my role in the banjo world is to master and teach the playing of the old masters; this does not necessarily equal “dynamic, headline performer.” Without the notoriety of being “the star of the show” though, who will notice me? I live with the very real fear of being forgotten in the future, simply because I didn’t stand out as an entertainer.
Eddie Peabody is much more popular and famous than Harry Reser (my biggest banjo hero)—always was, and always will be. You know my opinion on who the better banjo musician was, and on which aspect of banjo playing I believe should be more important (the banjo being a real musical instrument)! I personally don’t go to banjo conventions just to watch smiling/dancing banjo entertainers (though some are fun), I go to hear banjo musicians, in search of musical inspiration!
I will henceforth strive to improve and be-more-mindful-of my entertainment/visual skills, but I will not back down from my high musical-skills and historical-knowledge goals and ideals, and will continue encouraging others to do the same! In my opinion, that’s how the four-string banjo will survive into the future.
I recall your ukulele class and you were great in front of the group.
My main caution that I would pass on to you is to be careful not to ” over educate ” your audience. I have seen too many folks do that. For a seriously interested pro it might be cool to get all of the details of the song. But for the casual audience a short version works better. I think.
In my capacity as a sound engineer I am in a unique place. I am a part of the performance but I am sitting in the audience.
Hi Ron, Keep up your efforts. Unfortunately, people listen with their eyes at live performances. Performers don’t have to smile if that is difficult, but they must learn to appear gathered and confident. If you appear nervous, your audience will be nervous for you and everything will be stiff. Just as you pay attention to your technique with the banjo spend some time on your stage presence. The best way to do that is to practice in front of a mirror. A smile goes a long way in capturing an audience. By the way. You look just fine on stage. : )