The Greatest

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  1. Hi Ron,

    There is a book my daughter’s high school teacher gave her to read (darn forgot the name of it at the moment) that discusses some of the issues you address, namely that if you want to doom your kids to failure overly praise their talent or intelligence. This just sets a kid up to rely on these attributes and when things start to get difficult, the child will often end up confused and stuck. The author proposes that Instead we should work to praise effort and dedication in students. If I can recall the book name, I’ll follow up.

    1. Doug; I think you told me about that book before–The Tiger Mom I believe. I’ll have to get it; sounds very interesting.
      My situation was further confusing by the fact that my Father was very self-deprecating. There he was, playing circles around all of us, then claiming that he was a terrible banjo player (“Didn’t you hear that mistake?”). I couldn’t play as well as he did–yet I’m being told I’ll be the greatest–yet he claimed to be the “worst” even though he was actually great–etc. Not exactly a greatness role model. No wonder I quit for ten years as soon as I left home! The only way I’ve gotten anywhere is by working through my shyness and low-self-esteem issues. Fortunately I still have a few years of physical development ahead of me, and I’m trying to believe I can accomplish a lot in that time. Thank you for responding; I was beginning to think this one went unnoticed.

  2. Ron, it wasn’t Tiger Mom, it was something else. I’m pretty sure the book was called Mindset, by Carol Dweck (My daughter’s soccer coach let her borrow it, and I ended up reading it before she gave it back)

    Another book that I found worthwhile in putting a frame, so to speak, on how we as individuals tend to react to stimulus with family and friends is “The Temperament that God Gave You,” which I came upon serendiptiously. –

    Keep up the articles-best wishes-Doug

  3. I would also add “Wild at Heart” by John Eldridge to your reading list which deals with this subject.